I found myself traveling down a dangerous rabbit hole. One moment, a bad memory popped into my mind, and the next thing I know, I’m thinking about all the pain caused by that memory. Thought after thought, recollection after recollection. I traveled deeper and deeper into my past, so deep that I felt the pain all over again.
Have you ever been here before? Have you ever traveled into your painful past, only to feel the hurt all over again?
Until recently, this sort of rabbit hole would have thrown me into sadness. I’d allow myself to be dragged down by the past. I’d allow bitterness and resentment to fester in my heart. But not this time. You see, I can no longer be angry. I can no longer be bitter. I finally understand that my life, all of my experiences– the good and the bad– have brought me to this point.
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. (Romans 8:28 NLT)
Every betrayal, every heartache, every time that I was misunderstood, every time that I wasn’t accepted, protected, or covered…has brought me here. My journey, although not easy, was cultivating me for purpose.
Please understand me when I say that this revelation doesn’t make pain less painful. And it certainly doesn’t condone wrongdoing. What I am saying is that in all of the pain and heartache, there can also be a place of understanding…a place of peace….knowing that whatever you go through, you are being cultivated for purpose.
Our experiences cultivate us for purpose.
The good and the bad. The wins and the losses. The things that we love to remember, and the things that we wish we could forget. All of it creates character. All of it creates wisdom. All of it will be used by God to cultivate us for the purpose that He has for us.
I don’t know when the switch in my point of view took place. But the other day, instead of feeling bitter and harboring resentment, I thanked God. I thank Him for allowing me to live the life that I’ve lived, because without it–and I mean all of it– I would not be who I am today.
As I was thinking about this message, a couple of men from the bible came to mind. The first is King David. I thought about everything that he had to go through, in order to attain the title king, that he was purposed for. The story of David’s rise to power spans several chapters of scripture, beginning in 1 Samuel 16. It is a long story, so today, I just want to point out the pain and betrayal that David faced along the way.
In 1 Samuel 16, we learn that David was anointed to be Israel’s second king, years before he actually assumed the throne. And some time after his anointing, he began to serve King Saul as an armor bearer and musician. But when we fast forward to 1 Samuel 18, after David kills the giant Goliath, we find out that Saul quickly turns on him.
When the victorious Israelite army was returning home after David had killed the Philistine, women from all the towns of Israel came out to meet King Saul. They sang and danced for joy with tambourines and cymbals. This was their song: “Saul has killed his thousands, and David his ten thousands!” This made Saul very angry. “What’s this?” he said. “They credit David with ten thousands and me with only thousands. Next they’ll be making him their king!” So from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David. (1 Samuel 18:6-9)
The very next day a tormenting spirit from God overwhelmed Saul, and he began to rave in his house like a madman. David was playing the harp, as he did each day. But Saul had a spear in his hand, and he suddenly hurled it at David, intending to pin him to the wall. But David escaped him twice. (1 Samuel 18:10-11)
Imagine the betrayal that David must have felt at this moment. Saul was his king, his commander, and probably someone that he admired and wanted to emulate. But all of the sudden, everything changed. Instead of being his example, Saul had become his greatest enemy. David spent the next several years hiding and running for his life.
There is no doubt that David was hurt. There is no doubt that he felt betrayed. But the question is, how did David deal with his pain? And ultimately how did he respond to Saul’s betrayal?
In 1 Samuel 24 we learn about one of two instances where David spares Saul’s life.
Then he shouted to Saul, “Why do you listen to the people who say I am trying to harm you? This very day you can see with your own eyes it isn’t true. For the Lord placed you at my mercy back there in the cave. Some of my men told me to kill you, but I spared you. For I said, ‘I will never harm the king—he is the Lord ’s anointed one.’ Look, my father, at what I have in my hand. It is a piece of the hem of your robe! I cut it off, but I didn’t kill you. This proves that I am not trying to harm you and that I have not sinned against you, even though you have been hunting for me to kill me. (1 Samuel 24:9-11 NLT)
David’s response to Saul’s betrayal is astounding, and it shows us how David viewed his situation. Although David was hurt, and although he probably wanted to get back at Saul, he understood that his life and situation was in the Lord’s hands.
God uses pain to cultivate us for purpose.
From the outside looking in, it’s clear that the Lord was cultivating David, as he struggled on the run. David went from being a warrior, to being a leader. By the time he assumed the throne of Israel, he was fully prepared and qualified.
'So David left Gath and escaped to the cave of Adullam. Soon his brothers and all his other relatives joined him there. Then others began coming—men who were in trouble or in debt or who were just discontented—until David was the captain of about 400 men. (1 Samuel 22:1-2 NLT)
So David and his men—about 600 of them now—left Keilah and began roaming the countryside. Word soon reached Saul that David had escaped, so he didn’t go to Keilah after all. (1 Samuel 23:13 NLT)
The second story I want to mention from scripture is that of Joseph, the son of Jacob. His story is my absolute favorite in the Old Testament. Why? Because when I read it, it’s clear that God not only uses our pain to cultivate us for purpose...
God uses pain to position us for purpose.
Joseph’s story is lengthy as well. It spans several chapters in the book of Genesis, beginning in chapter 37, but I want us to focus on one simple point from his journey…
God used all of Joseph’s pain, betrayal, and hardships to position him for purpose. And when I say position, I don’t just mean preparation, I mean that God ensured that he was physically where he needed to be in order to fulfill his purpose.
We certainly can’t go over Joseph’s entire story, but here’s a quick summary:
God gave Joseph two dreams letting him know that he would one day be ruler over his family. But when his brother’s found out, they became extremely jealous. They were so jealous that they sold him into slavery. As we continue to follow his story we find out that Joseph was a servant in the land of Egypt when he was falsely accused of rape and imprisoned. And then, after about a decade of imprisonment he suddenly gets called to appear before Pharaoh. It was a meeting that changed the rest of Joseph’s life.
So Pharaoh asked his officials, “Can we find anyone else like this man so obviously filled with the spirit of God?” Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Since God has revealed the meaning of the dreams to you, clearly no one else is as intelligent or wise as you are. You will be in charge of my court, and all my people will take orders from you. Only I, sitting on my throne, will have a rank higher than yours.” Pharaoh said to Joseph, “I hereby put you in charge of the entire land of Egypt.” (Genesis 41:38-41 NLT)
Joseph’s story is such a great example of how God cultivates each of us. Not only is He cultivating us through our pain, but he is positioning us through our pain. Just think about it, without his brother’s betrayal he would have never been in Egypt. And when we read Genesis 40 and 41, it’s clear that Joseph's imprisonment was necessary for him to become the ruler that God called him to be.
But Joseph replied, “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you? You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. (Genesis 50:19-20 NLT)
This was Joseph's response to his remorseful brothers… “You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good…”
What a revelation Joseph had…this is the revelation that I have been sitting with. No longer do I look at my past in resentment. No longer am I upset and troubled by what I went through. I am in a place of peace, a place of joy, because I know that God had a plan all along…I was being cultivated. And now, I am prepared, equipped, and positioned to do what God has called me to do in this season of my life.
You have been cultivated to walk in your purpose.
Whatever that purpose may be. Sometimes we think that purpose is some high and lofty idea. But serving God’s purpose is just being who He’s called you to be right here and right now.
I just want you to sit with this for a moment. I want you to take this in…allow the healing hands of your Father to touch your heart. Allow His peace to settle in at this moment.
You are not here, reading this blog, by chance. Your Father wants you to know that He sees you. He sees your heart. He knows your pain. He cherishes every tear you’ve cried. And He wants you to know that He has a plan for it all, nothing will go to waste. Every trial, every painful memory, and every betrayal will push you further and further towards the plan that He has for your life. Just like in Joseph’s case, God intends it all to be for your good. He’s preparing you. He’s positioning you. He’s cultivating you for purpose.
Prayer
Heavenly Father, thank you for reminding me that regardless of what I go through, you are ultimately in control of my life. And thank you for reminding me that you are working everything together for my good. Father, I believe that you have my best interest in mind, and I believe that regardless of what my situation looks like, you are leading me closer and closer towards the place that you have prepared for me. Right now, I ask for your healing, Father. I ask that you heal the wounds that I’m still dealing with from my past. And I ask that you give me a new understanding, peace, and a grateful heart…because according to your will, nothing will go to waste. All of this is for your glory. Thank you for your love and protection. In the name of Yeshua, the Messiah, I pray. Amen.
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