“I don’t understand this, God. I thought you healed me from this, God. And if you did heal me, then why am I still traumatized by this…paralyzed by this? I don’t want to think about it anymore. I don’t want these feelings affecting my life anymore.”
Honestly, I was discouraged, as I woke up to thoughts of something traumatic that happened to me. I thought that God had delivered me from the pain of what I went through. I thought that I was finally moving on. I mean, everything had been going well. I was feeling hopeful, and whole, when these thoughts hit me out of nowhere. And all of the sudden, I was right back where I started. The pain hit me like it just happened yesterday. I was paralyzed, and I began to question everything.
Did God really heal me? Am I actually going to be able to move forward from this? Will I have to deal with this for the rest of my life?
At first, I considered giving in. I thought, maybe this is just how it’s gonna be. But then, I remembered the promises of God…healing…restoration..and peace for our souls.
He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed. (1 Peter 2:24 NLT)
He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. (Psalms 147:3 NLT)
The Lord says, “I will give you back what you lost to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts, the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts. It was I who sent this great destroying army against you. (Joel 2:25 NLT)
“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” (John 14:27 NLT)
God promises us healing, restoration, and peace. But if He promises us these things, then why are we still in a place of brokenness? Why are we still dealing with the pain of what happened to us? Why doesn’t God just take it away? All of these questions ran through my mind, but the Holy Spirit reminded me that healing is most often a process.
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. (Philippians 1:6 NLT)
We are healed, and we are still being healed.
According to 1 Peter 2:24, we are healed. But in Philippians 1:6, we gain a better understanding of how God’s works are revealed in our lives. He guides us through a process, and this process isn’t easy. It can feel like highs and lows. Moments of wholeness, and brokenness. There may be times when we feel that His work is finished; and then, there can be moments when we feel like we haven’t made any progress at all. But one thing we must remember is that regardless of how we feel…He is always moving us forward…closer to promise.
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. (Romans 8:28 NLT)
This is the beauty of walking with Christ. Our pain is not in vain, because He will use all of it. Every hurt…every tragedy…every mistake, towards our purpose. But, we must understand the part that we play in this.
We can’t hold on to our pain, we must surrender it to God.
As I shared earlier, I was almost ready to accept my pain as a part of my reality. I was tired…I was discouraged…I lost hope. But at that moment, I made a decision. Instead of accepting the pain, instead of holding on to it (owning it), I laid it at the altar. I sat in the presence of God, and I allowed His Spirit to comfort me, strengthen me, and continue the work of healing within me.
Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him. For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection. (Psalms 91:1-4 NLT)
I can’t express how important it is for us to surrender our pain to God.
If we don’t allow God to use our pain, the enemy will.
Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. (1 Peter 5:8 NLT)
Our enemy is constantly looking for a foothold in our lives, and when we hold on to our pain, we give him just that. He uses our pain to tear us down through feelings of helplessness, unforgiveness, and bitterness. Instead of living victoriously as God calls us to, we result in a life of defeat.
If we want the promises of God we must fight for them
Make no mistake. This life of faith is a fight. Every day, we must fight to walk in the truth of what God has spoken over us. If we want healing, we have to fight for it. If we want restoration, we have to fight for it. If we want peace, we have to fight for it.
I have no idea what you are fighting for, but I know that your enemy will do whatever he can to prevent your victory. Today, make the decision that you will fight. You will not lay down and allow your past, your pain, or your mistakes to prevent you from walking in the promises of God. Instead, you will allow Him to continue the work that He begun in you.
What has God done in your life? Has he begun a work of healing in you? Has He begun a work of restoration in you? If so…don’t relent until you receive the fullness of His promise. Keep seeking. Keep praying. Keep believing. Even when it feels like it’s in vain…remind yourself that it’s not. He’s always moving in you. He’s strengthening you, healing you, and preparing you for your promise.
Prayer
Heavenly Father, thank you for the many promises that you have given me. Today, I have been reminded that in order for me to experience promise, I must fight for it. So, I am making the decision to fight for everything that you have for me. I will fight for my healing. I will fight for restoration. I will fight to experience peace. And I believe that as I fight, you will strengthen me. I trust in you. I know that you will never leave my side. And I believe that you will complete the works that you have begun in me. I love you, Father. In Jesus’ name, amen.
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