God's Plan

Deep down, us wives know what we want. We want to feel loved and appreciated. We want our husbands to protect us and care for us. We want them to hold us in high esteem. We want to be their priority over work, hobbies, and friends. We want to feel like the only girl in a room of many. This, is the desire of our hearts. Whether we know it or not, we as woman, desire this from our husbands. This is how our heavenly Father designed us. This is God's plan for us. He created marriage to be a safe haven. He design the man to love and protect his wife, and he design us to need these qualities from our husbands. But, it can be disheartening when our desires are at odds with our experience. When our desires and needs aren’t met by our husbands, we tend to live life out of that deficiency. This usually ends up causing an imbalance in marriage, where the husband and wife are often at odds. My husband and I have been there before. We would argue all the time, and there was always tension. It felt like there was a constant battle of trying to gain some type of control on both ends. Things just weren’t running smoothly. Our relationship was completely out of balance. Many times when our lives are out of whack, it is because we aren’t in alignment with God's plan. When we live according to His plan, their isn’t constant strife and tension. Instead, we get the opportunity to experience His peace, and the blessings that He intends for us. “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord . “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,” says the Lord . (Jeremiah 29:11-14 NLT) God promises that He will hear our prayers and restore what has been lost in our lives. But, in order for us to see God’s plans come to pass, we first need to understand what His plan is. What were God's original intentions for marriage? In order to answer that question, we have to go back to the beginning. We need to take a look at the first married couple created by God. Adam and Eve. God created Adam first, and He told him to tend to the beautiful garden that would be his home. But there was a problem… Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” (Genesis 2:18 NLT) So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” (Genesis 2:21-23 NLT) God could have created Eve the same way that He did Adam, but He chose not to. Instead, He formed her from Adam's body, signifying how uniquely He intended for them to be woven together. This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. (Genesis 2:24 NLT) God intended for a husband and wife to become one flesh. And, He designed Eve as the perfect companion for Adam. God formed her to help her husband in the purpose that he had been given. But, things did not go as planned. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating from the only tree that was forbidden. The Lord God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it. But the Lord God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden— except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.” (Genesis 2:15-17 NLT) Instead of clinging to the instruction from God, they chose to listen to the suggestions of the serpent. Eve ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Then, she gave some to her husband, and he ate it as well. Let’s look back at what God said would happen if they disobeyed. God said: “If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.” (v. 17) God doesn’t mean that they will physically die, but that they will experience spiritual death, or separation from God and His blessings. Because of Adam and Eve’s choice, God banished them from the beautiful garden that He designed for them to live in. Instead of living in His blessings, they were forced to leave and live under a curse. This was not just a consequence for Adam and Eve; this is a curse that was placed on the rest of humanity, as well. What we have to realize is that we were born into a fallen and cursed world. So the Lord God banished them from the Garden of Eden, and he sent Adam out to cultivate the ground from which he had been made. (Genesis 3:23 NLT) The curse that God placed on this world because of Adam and Eve’s sin is extensive, but I want to focus on one part, as it relates to marriage. Then he said to the woman, “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you. ” (Genesis 3:16 NLT) If this doesn’t sound like the constant strife between a wife and her husband, I don’t know what does. God literally told Eve that the consequence of her sin would be a constant battle of control between her and her husband. This is what it looks like to be married apart from God's plan. But, there is good news. Our savior, Jesus Christ, came, died on a cross, and rose again so that the curse could be broken off of our lives. Because of what Jesus did, we have access to God. His presence changes everything. And, He gave us a template to receive that change. In the book of Malachi, God tells the Israelites the pathway that they must take in order to restore His blessings in their lives. Although the topic is tithing, I believe there is a greater principle here. “Ever since the days of your ancestors, you have scorned my decrees and failed to obey them. Now return to me, and I will return to you,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. (Malachi 3:7) The Israelites failed to obey God’s instructions, and they are clearly not living in His blessings. He tells them that He will not return (His protection, favor, and blessings) to them unless they turn from their ways and follow Him. He then begins to tell them the reason for their current state of living. He says that they have been cursed because of their disobedience. “But you ask, ‘How can we return when we have never gone away?’ “Should people cheat God? Yet you have cheated me! “But you ask, ‘What do you mean? When did we ever cheat you?’ “You have cheated me of the tithes and offerings due to me. You are under a curse, for your whole nation has been cheating me. (Malachi 3:7-9) Now, by curse, God is not saying that He has cursed the Israelites. He is saying that by not tithing, they have chosen to live under the curse of this world, the curse that has been on humanity since the sin of Adam of Eve. Next, God shares the blueprint for restoring His blessings in their lives. And, I believe this blueprint applies to us as well. Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, “I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test! Your crops will be abundant, for I will guard them from insects and disease. Your grapes will not fall from the vine before they are ripe,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. (Malachi 3:10-11 NLT) He tells the Israelites that once they return and follow His plan, they will be able to live in abundance. Not only will they live in the blessings of God, but they will live under the protection of God, as well. If we are to have the blessed marriage that God desires for us, we have to follow His plan. God desires for us to have a marriage full of joy. And, He knows how to get us there, because marriage is His creation, after all. So, we've established that Eve was created as the perfect, and necessary companion for Adam. But, what else does the Bible say about God’s plan for marriage? For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her… (Ephesians 5:22-25 NLT) So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:33 NLT) This is an important aspect of God’s plan for marriage. God calls for the husband to love his wife, to the point of sacrificing everything for her. And as wives, we are called to honor and respect our husbands as the head of our families, meaning, that we submit our own way to follow theirs. If you just step outside of your own relationship bubble for a second, can you see how beautiful this is? That our God knows what we need. He knows that more than anything our husbands need the respect and honor of their wives. He knows, that as wives, we long for the love of our husbands, to the point of personal sacrifice. This is mind blowing to me. And, it is the formula that is needed for a marriage to truly thrive. As wives, we have to begin to step into our role. And, I know, your husband might not be doing his part, maybe not even in the slightest bit. But let me share something with you. When you obey God, you are breaking the curse of this world off of your family. Remember what He said to the Israelites? He told them that if they returned to His way (His plan), His presence would return to their lives. He promised that He would not only bless their crops, but He would protect their crops from anything seeking to harm them. This is what we need. This is what you need. You need the presence of God in the middle of your marriage. You need his blessings, and you need His protection from anything that seeks to interrupt your union. You need God’s covering. What we have to realize is that when we submit to our husbands, we are actually submitting to God. We are saying God, we trust your plan, and we trust you. We are allowing God to cover us and fight for us. We are not responsible for our husbands choices, because God will hold them accountable. Our only responsibility is to follow God’s plan. When we do that, we align ourselves in the will of God. And, His will is where we need to be for Him to do what He does best, work miracles. Prayer, Heavenly Father, thank you for your beautiful plan. Thank you for giving me the tools that I need to have the blessed marriage that you intend for me. Remind me that as I live according to your plan, you are working on my behalf. Show me how to be the wife that you have created me to be. Even when it is tough, show me how to honor and respect my husband. I pray that as I step into my role, you would work in my husband's heart, so that he would step into his. We can not do this with out You. Father, I want to be submitted to your plan so that I can experience all that you have for me. In the difficult times, remind me that you are my covering, my protection, and my defender. I need you to fight for me, and bring restoration in my marriage. As I surrender to your plan, give me the desire and the ability to do what you have called me to do. I put all of my trust in you. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.