Last week, I felt like I had been hit with a ton of bricks. I was so sick that I couldn’t bring myself to get out of bed. My head was throbbing, my body was aching, and I had a fever that just wouldn’t let up. I couldn’t do anything for myself, let alone take care of my family. All I could do was lay there and pray for a speeding healing. But as I laid there, trying to rest, I remembered that there was something that I needed to do. I told myself that this was something that I had to do. I was on assignment from God, to write whatever He puts in my heart to share. And this is something that I had done faithfully, week after week, for almost two years. It didn’t matter what was going on in my life. I wrote in the middle of healing from a broken marriage…in the middle of pain, depression, anxiety, and fear. I wrote while I was sick with Covid-19…I was determined to complete my assignment every week, and I trusted the Holy Spirit to carry me every time. But, this sickness was different. My determination didn’t matter. My dedication didn’t matter. And this was frustrating. I didn’t want to let God down. I didn’t want to let myself or my readers down. I began to feel weighed down with anxiety, and then the Lord changed my perspective.
In the middle of battling anxious thoughts, the phone rang. It was a dear aunt of mine. I told her how I was feeling, and that my post might be late, and her response was what I needed to hear. She told me that I needed to take care of myself, before I could think of taking care of anyone else. This is not a new concept. We all know that we need to take care of ourselves, so that we are well enough to take care of others. But here I was…barely able to move. And instead of worrying about myself, and focusing on getting better, I was stressed. Yes, about letting God down, and letting myself down. But mostly, I was worried about letting others down. I was worried about what would happen if I didn’t write my blog for a week. Would people think I was less faithful? Would people stop reading my posts?
After we hung up. I continued to struggle with anxious thoughts. I prayed…I cried…I prayed some more. And then I felt the Holy Spirit tell me to rest. And then, He reminded me of a scripture.
Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.” (John 7:38 NIV)
As believers, we should have this river of living water flowing from within us at all times. But, the Holy Spirit reminded me that this river is an overflow. But how can we overflow with His Spirit when we are drained physically and mentally? How can we give something that we don’t have within us? The concept of taking care of ourselves first isn’t just something that sounds good…it’s not a cliche. It is biblical.
The Holy Spirit restores us and fills us up when we rest in Him.
Resting is the key to being filled with His Spirit. How can He restore us when we don’t have a moment to spare? How can He heal us when we aren’t willing to stop for a moment to be healed?
I am always on the go. I work full time and write part time. And when I’m not working, there is always something that needs tending to. Whether it’s being there for the kids emotionally, or physically. Whether it’s helping with homework, cooking, or taking care of the house. There is always something that needs to be done and never enough time to get anything done. I often feel like I must keep up this hamster wheel of responsibilities so that everything remains okay. So, in other words, I am not one to rest. And, I have found that when I do not rest, my heavenly Father forces me to.
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul:... (Psalm 23:1-3 KJV)
There have been so many times that I’ve gotten sick, and I felt the Holy Spirit tell me to rest. He knows that resting is not my strong suit. And He knows that the only way that I will rest is if I don’t have a choice…He knows that He has to lead me there. And every time, I remember this scripture. We have a Shepherd that “makes [us] lie down in green pastures. He leads [us] beside the still waters.” He knows exactly what we need.
Now, I don’t want to be misunderstood. I am simply sharing my personal walk with Christ. I am not suggesting that God causes all sickness, or that He always uses it for this purpose. But, I am saying that He will make us rest. Maybe that rest looks like sickness, but maybe it looks like failure, disappointment, or drought. He is a good Father, and He knows what we need. Sure, at the moment, it may feel terrible…it may be inconvenient; but if we make the decision to draw closer to Him in these moments, He will give us the rest that we need.
When we rest in Him, He speaks to us.
As I began to rest in Him, He showed me that I was stressed and anxious because I thought it was my job to keep this ministry going. I thought that if I dropped the ball, everything would fall apart. But, He reminded me that I wasn’t the one holding it together in the first place.
He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. (Colossians 1:17 NIV)
I needed this reminder. I needed to remember that I’m not holding this thing together…He is. This ministry lives, not because I’ve remained faithful. It lives because He’s remained faithful. And it isn’t successful because I am good…It’s successful because He is good. This rest that He led me to changed my whole perspective.
Rest helps us remember that it was God’s power that got us here…not our own abilities or talent.
It’s easy to take the credit when we get up and work for something everyday. It’s easy to pat ourselves on the back, when we see the fruit of what we have worked so hard to do. But, we must understand that every good gift comes from God. Our strengths come from God. Our aptitudes, talents, and our abilities come from God. We don’t have the ability to ensure something is successful. We don’t have the power to hold anything together. Everything is in His hands. And when we rest, we are reminded of this.
Our Father is calling us to rest in Him.
As I’m writing to you, He’s giving me a picture of my 3 year old. He hates going to bed at night, just like most toddlers. He fusses, he whines, he looks for reasons to stall. He tries whatever he can to get out of it. But regardless of how much he wants to stay awake, I make sure that he goes to bed at a decent time. Why? Because although he doesn’t understand, I know how much he needs his rest. I know that he wouldn’t be able to handle the next day without it. And I know that if he gets the proper rest, he will be revitalized and prepared to face the next day.
We have to understand that this mirrors the relationship that we have with our Father in heaven. Many times, we are hustling, grinding, and running on the hamster wheel of life, but He calls us to rest. He calls us to take a second to breathe in Him…to allow Him to restore us, to rejuvenate us, to speak to us. This is what I needed…what I still need. I need His peace. I need His stillness. I want to feel His presence more, and I know that it begins here.
If you’re reading this, I believe that He is speaking to you right now. He’s calling you to slow down, so that He can give you the things that you don’t even know you need. He wants to heal you…restore you…prepare you…speak to you. You don’t have to be afraid. You don’t have to worry about what might happen if you slow down. You don’t have to worry about holding your life together, because you serve a God that holds all things together. And I believe that He wants to prove it to you. He wants to show you that He has your back. He wants to remind you of who He is in your life. He is your God. And He will never fail you.
Prayer
Heavenly Father, I believe that you are calling me to rest in you. In your presence, I will find the strength that I need, the peace that I need, and the restoration that I need. So today, I am making the decision to follow you. If you are leading me to take a break, I will follow you. If you lead me into more quiet time with you, I will follow you. If you ask me to lay something down for a season, I will follow you. I will trust your instructions and obey, because I know that you have my best interest in mind. Thank you for reminding me that I don’t need to be afraid, because you hold all things together. I trust that as I follow you, I will see more of your power in my life. I love you Father. In Jesus’ name, amen.
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