I shout about the miracles of God because I have experienced His power in my life. I’ve seen Him heal my marriage and family; I’ve watched as He transformed my husband; and I’ve experienced His healing in my heart and mind. But…when I received the news of my mother’s diagnosis…I was shaken.
The faith that I thought I had suddenly waned…
You see…my mother has suffered from chronic autoimmune diseases since I was a small child. And in the back of my mind, I’ve always wondered why God hadn’t healed her… I’ve always wondered whether it was even possible.
And so…as I recently listened to her doctors diagnose her with an irreversible, life-altering condition…I was speechless. I tried my best to remain my normal positive faith-filled self. But again, in the back of my mind I wondered…was healing even possible.
I found myself in this space between faith and unbelief. Because I know God works miracles. I know He can do anything. But…will He do this?
“What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.” The father instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:23-24 NLT)
I can’t sum up my feelings any better than this…
“God, I do believe, but help me to overcome my unbelief.”
I was completely vulnerable with God. I praised Him for all that He has done in my life…but I was honest…I needed Him to show me more.
I don’t just want to hear about the healing power of God….I want to see it with my own eyes. And more importantly…I want my mother to see it with hers. I don’t want her to live the rest of her life in pain. I want her to experience the Lord as her healer and deliverer.
And so I said… “Show me your glory, God. Help me to overcome my unbelief.”
This is not a topic that we talk about in the church often enough. The word unbelief has such a negative connotation…causing us to fear its existence in our lives. But, the problem is that unbelief exists whether we want it to or not. We are not perfect. Our faith can not be perfect. If we do not address our weakness, how can God strengthen us?
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NLT)
When we face our unbelief, we give God the opportunity to show up in that area of our lives.
As we continue to read about the Father that battled with unbelief in Mark 9, we see how Jesus showed up in his life…
The father instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” When Jesus saw that the crowd of onlookers was growing, he rebuked the evil spirit. “Listen, you spirit that makes this boy unable to hear and speak,” he said. “I command you to come out of this child and never enter him again!” Then the spirit screamed and threw the boy into another violent convulsion and left him. The boy appeared to be dead. A murmur ran through the crowd as people said, “He’s dead.” But Jesus took him by the hand and helped him to his feet, and he stood up. (Mark 9:24-27 NLT)
Jesus met the Father right where he was…In the middle of faith and unbelief….I want that to sink in…
God wants to meet you right where you are.
It doesn’t matter how much faith you have. It doesn’t matter what you have faith for. All that matters is that you are willing to use what you’ve got.
“You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.” (Matthew 17:20 NLT)
I have been in the middle of faith and unbelief for the past couple of months…praying and believing that my mother will be healed…but at the same time, not completely sure it will happen.
But, today…I received good news!
God did the impossible!
He miraculously healed my mother from permanent esophageal damage. He reversed what the doctors said could never be reversed. His word is true. He is who he says he is…our Healer…our Deliverer…our Mighty God.
Make space for God to show up in your life.
Be vulnerable with Him. Share your wants and desires…your disappointments…what you have faith for, and what you don’t. He will not rebuke you for doing so…
Sometimes we have to put ourselves in a vulnerable position in order to experience the miracles of God.
As Paul said…when we are weak, then we are strong.
You see, your unbelief can be a strength if you allow it to be. So…don’t hide where you are. Don’t run from it. Embrace it. Embrace your struggles. Embrace your weaknesses. Allow God to give you the faith that you don’t have. Allow Him to strengthen the faith that you do have. This is your time to go deeper with Him. So take advantage of it, and watch as He moves mountains in your life.
Prayer
Heavenly Father, thank you for loving me, thank you for choosing me, and thank you for giving me the opportunity to experience who you truly are. Today, I have been reminded that you want to meet me right where I am. So here I am Father…ready to go deeper with you. I no longer want to hide my feelings of unbelief. Instead, I want to be open and honest with you about where I am, and where I’m not. Your word says that your strength is made perfect through my weakness, and Father, I am ready to be strengthened by you. I believe that as I continue to walk with you, my faith will grow stronger every day. I love you, Father. In Jesus’ name, amen.
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