I was called at a very young age. I didn’t know it then, but I remember being at church during praise and worship, with tears streaming down my face. My dad asked me why I was crying, and my response was that I didn’t know. Looking back, all I can say is that I felt something…my spirit moved within me. It’s the same feeling that I feel now, whenever I worship in the presence of the Lord. He’s calling me now, and He was calling me back then. And although I didn’t know His voice then, I know it now…and it all makes sense. My dad leaving…makes sense. The resulting pain, insecurities, and trust issues make sense. My battle with depression and anxiety makes sense. The fight to save my marriage…makes sense. All of it was a part of my calling. They were the things that I had to go through, to get to where I am now.
To overcome is to have a testimony.
And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death. (Revelation 12:11 NKJV)
We overcome when we share our testimony, because our testimony reminds us of where we’ve come from, and how far He’s brought us. But, I want to add that our overcoming is the only reason that we have a testimony to begin with. This is why our worst seasons are some of our most valuable seasons. It is in these seasons that we witness the power of God. It is in these seasons that we gain something worth sharing with others.
I have to say that I’ve lived most of my life wondering why? Why me God? Why do I have to be the one to go through this? Why can’t I be accepted for who I am? Why can’t I just be happy? Why can’t I just be loved? But instead of answering me in words, He gave me His presence. He showed me that all I need is Him. I am accepted and affirmed by Him. I can have joy in any situation through Him. I am loved unconditionally by Him. And He will never leave my side.
Our God isn’t afraid of our questions. He’s not repelled by our desire to know more about our story. He wants us to run to Him with everything we have…with everything we are…so that He can help us sort it out. He wants our pain and sorrow, our disappointment and doubt. When we bring all of ourselves to Him, He heals us, and He makes sure that nothing is wasted.
You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. (Psalms 56:8 NLT)
Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. (Ecclesiastes 3:11 NLT)
Our pain is never wasted because He turns it into purpose.
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. (Romans 8:28 NLT)
I wanted to know why…and He’s showing me why. He’s slowly revealing the treasures that He’s buried inside of me…the seeds that He planted before I was in my mother’s womb. And He’s allowing me to be a vessel for the same process to begin in someone else. This is purpose. This makes it all worth it.
I know nothing of what you’ve been through, but I know there's a purpose for it. There’s a purpose for the abandonment. There’s a purpose for the neglect. There’s a purpose for the disappointment. There’s a purpose for every bit of pain that you’ve been through, and what you’re going through now. How can I say this so confidently? Because I have experienced the redemptive power of God. I have watched Him take some of my most painful memories, and use them to heal others. My story is proof. And I believe that He wants to do the same for you.
He is calling you.
For no one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them to me, and at the last day I will raise them up. (John 6:44 NLT)
There are no coincidences in life. You did not just end up here. We can only come to God when He calls us. The fact that you are here right now…means that He is calling you. Every time you have the desire to reach out to Him…it is because He is calling you. He is calling you to come closer to Him. He is calling you to dig deeper in Him. He wants your doubt. He wants your pain. He wants all of you. He wants to heal those wounds that you’ve had all these years. He wants to show you you’re accepted. He wants to show you that you’re loved. Will you let Him?
Will you run to Him?
Will you allow Him to have the pain of your past? Will you allow Him to have those things you’ve buried deep inside of you? I know how hard it can be to face the things that you just want to forget, but when you bring those things to Him, He will give you a peace that you’ve never experienced before. Instead of living weighed down, you will be able to experience the freedom and rest that He makes available to us.
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 NLT)
Is this not what you desire? To rest…to have true freedom…the freedom to be who He created you to be…the freedom to live confidently knowing you’re loved, accepted, and affirmed…the freedom to walk in purpose? This is what He wants for you. This is where His Spirit is leading you to. He’s calling you to come, so follow Him. Run to your Father today, and allow Him to lead you to the place of peace and purpose that He has for you.
Prayer
Heavenly Father, thank you for drawing near to me, and for calling me into a deeper relationship with you. Thank you for reminding me that you desire all of me. You want all of my thoughts, all of my pain, all of my past and present. And I am making the decision to run to you. I believe that in your presence, I will find healing, restoration, and purpose. I believe that I will find freedom and rest. You are where my help comes from. You are my source of joy and hope. I love you Father. In Jesus’ name, amen.
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