Selective Hearing

I was believing for what seemed to be the impossible. My marriage was in shambles, we were separated, and my husband had no desire to work things out. As difficult as the situation was, the hardest part was taking care of our kids while feeling hopeless. Our baby girl was too young to understand what was going on, but our son, he knew. He knew what was going on, and he struggled with the fact that we could not be together as a family. He didn’t know how to deal with it, so he began to act out in school and at church, so much that, his teachers knew there must be something going on at home. I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. I sat down with a leader at the church to talk about why my son was having such a difficult time. I explained the situation to her, telling her how my husband felt, but that I was believing God for reconciliation. I’ll never forgot her response. She said something like “Well, how long are you going to wait? Have you given him an expiration date?” I can remember how she looked at me, surprised that I would believe God for healing in a marriage where my husband had clearly checked out. And honestly, I was so surprised at her response, especially given her position at the church, that I didn’t have the boldness to refute her views. I mean, here I was, talking to a leader of the church about how I had decided to step out in faith and believe God, and she looked at me like I was stupid. I had hoped that she would have encouraged my faith, and prayed for my marriage to be healed. But instead, I walked away from that meeting feeling hurt by someone that I thought I could trust. I learned a painful lesson that day…

If you are believing God for the impossible, you can not share your faith walk with everyone. Well I guess I kind of knew that, but I thought that I would at least be able to share my situation with her, I mean, she was a leader in the church. But, she didn’t have faith to believe God for my situation. Now, I am not saying anything negative about her walk with Christ. She is an amazing woman that loves the Lord, but that does not automatically mean that she will have the faith to believe God for healing in my impossible situation. I had to learn this lesson the hard way. Growing up, there were times when my father asked me to do something, and later on, when I failed to complete my task, he'd ask me why I didn’t follow directions. My response was that I didn’t hear him, and he would say that I had selective hearing. He told me that I didn’t hear him because I didn’t want to hear him. I've had the same experience with my own children. There’s been times when they’ve said they didn’t hear me when I asked them to do chores, but this never happened when I told them we were going to get ice cream. Their brains are wired to react to fun things, while they easily tune out things they deem less important. This is how we must train ourselves when we are in a season of walking by faith. If we are to go the distance, and last to see God’s promises come to pass, we have to be careful who we listen to. We need to be selective in who we allow to speak into our lives. The reason why I was able to hold firm in my belief that my marriage would be healed, was because I had a word from God. Although I was hurt, I never allowed the church leader’s views to interfere with the faith that I had in God for my situation. Her views did not trump what God said. Hearing from God is most valuable. It is so important that you seek what God has to say about your marriage, because hearing God speak changes everything. A word from God will give you the ability to walk in confidence, in the face of adversity, knowing that God is with you. When you have a word from God, no one else's opinion matters. Yes, it is wonderful and necessary to have wise counsel around you, but, sometimes God will give you a vision that seems so unsure, that those around you will be skeptical. Everyone around you will not be able to cosign your faith. But a word from God will hold you up when all else fails. If you need healing in your marriage, seek God’s word first. I can’t express how important this step is in your journey of believing God for healing in your marriage. There will be times when you want to give up, and there will be times when your support system will fail to hold you up, but a word from God will sustain you. Seek God’s will and His view on your situation. Ask Him what you should do. He will guide you; He wants to guide you. You should never rely solely on the opinions of people around you when it comes to making the most important decisions of your life. They don’t know what God has put inside of you, and for what purpose. Your family and friends don’t know what the future holds for you. Only God knows where you are going, and only God knows how to get you there. Seek His instruction first. Any other input from friends or family, should always be confirmation of what God has already told you. Their input should never drive the major decisions of your life. When I sat down to speak with the church leader, I already had a word from God. I already made the decision that I would believe God for healing, because He gave me a promise. Although her words hurt, I was firm in knowing my God would deliver on His promise. And, I was willing to wait on Him. The promises of God are never on our time table. Our God defies time, and He is never sitting idle. When it seems like nothing is happening on the surface, God is always doing something under the surface. Every moment that we wait, has a purpose. He’s always trying to show us another side of himself. He’s always working in us, so that we are prepared to receive the blessings that we’ve prayed for. If we are so stuck on sticking to the time tables that we’ve set up for our lives, we will miss the treasures that only come from waiting on Him. God’s word should be the standard that you measure everything else by. We shouldn’t measure what God says against what we feel, or what everyone else has to say. No, it should be the other way around. Once we know God’s word for our lives, that becomes the truth of what we believe. Instead of shrinking back, and changing our beliefs based on what others say, we will be able to stand firm based on the word of God. But maybe you feel like you’ve never heard God speak. How can you hear from God? Come close to God, and God will come close to you… (James 4:8 NLT) This is one of the keys to hearing from God…you have to actively seek Him. Spend time in His word, and worship in His presence. When I heard from God, I was in a moment of desperation. I wanted to hear Him; I needed to here Him. And when I did, it was in the midst of my worship. I remember laying everything down in that moment. I was so sick and tired of living life in my own strength. I was completely open to hearing whatever He wanted to say. As I studied earlier this week, I read about the story of Samuel, and it reminded me of how our proximity to God determines how clearly we hear Him speak. The lamp of God had not yet gone out, and Samuel was sleeping in the Tabernacle near the Ark of God. Suddenly the Lord called out, “Samuel!” “Yes?” Samuel replied. “What is it?” (1 Samuel 3:3-4 NLT) Do you see it? The first time Samuel heard the voice of God was when he was sleeping near the Ark of God. The Ark of God signifies the presence of God. So in essence, Samuel was sleep near the presence of God. Samuel could have chosen to sleep elsewhere, as his spiritual father Eli did, but he chose to sleep as close to God as possible. This, I believe, is crucial to hearing the voice of God. The closer to God we are, the more likely we are to hear Him speaking to us.

When we spend time worshiping and meditating on the word of God, we are positioning ourselves to hear from Him. And, the word of God is the primary way that He speaks to us. If you aren’t spending time in your bible, you are missing your opportunity to hear God speak. For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. (Hebrews 4:12 NLT) The word of God is not just a collection of peoples thoughts and the recollection of past events. No, it is alive and active in our lives. Through the Holy Spirit, the word reveals to us things that we didn’t even know about ourselves, and our situation. This is where we can find the answers to every problem that we’ll ever face. God literally gave us a blueprint for our lives. He’s shown us how we should live, and how we should address each obstacle that we face. If you want to know how God feels about any situation, search the word of God. All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work. (2 Timothy 3:16-17 NLT) When we read the Word, the Holy Spirit will reveal to us the topics that pertain to our lives. There has been so many times when I’ve read the same scripture on multiple occasions, but the Holy Spirit has shown me something different each time. It’s not that scripture changes, but the Holy Spirit has highlighted the word that I needed in that moment. The Holy Spirit will also speak to us in the still small voice of our thoughts. This is how God spoke to me when He told me that He would heal my marriage. I didn’t hear Him audibly, but something in my spirit spoke to me. In that moment, He said that if I gave my marriage to Him, he would heal it. In that moment, I knew it had to be God, because I didn’t have the faith to believe that on my own. Just a few minutes earlier, I was at the point of giving up. But when I heard from God, it strengthened me. It gave me the confidence to believe for what seem to be the impossible. God’s words are life, they will sustain you. It is so crucial that you learn to tune out all the other voices, so that you can hear from God. God is speaking all the time, and He most certainly has something to say about this important subject…your marriage. If you aren’t able you hear his voice, it isn’t because He isn’t speaking. It is because you aren’t quite enough to hear him. If you are so pressed to hear the opinions of everyone around you, you might miss what God has to say. There was a time when I literally stopped sharing the details of my marriage with everyone, because I desperately needed to hear God speak. All of those other opinions were clouding my mind. Have you ever been so full of faith in a matter, only to have that faith crushed by a negative point of view? You were so sure in your decision, only to feel unsure moments later? Confiding in or seeking counsel from the wrong people can weaken your faith, especially if your faith is vulnerable at the moment, as mine was. This is why it is so important that you choose your counsel wisely. Honestly, during my walk of believing God for my marriage, my faith was venerable. I believed God would heal my marriage, but I wasn’t full of faith all the time. There were days when I just wanted to give up, and I knew that the negative opinions of others might result in my questioning the decision that I made to wait on God. I had to be very selective in the people that I confided in, and the people that I allowed to speak into my marriage. It is so important to protect your faith. You can not share the details of your marriage with everyone. You're going to want to make sure that the people you confide in are for your union. I say this because we tend to confide in the people that are for us. We want the opinion of the people that are on our side, because they validate the way that we feel when we’re going through tough times. These are the people that sympathize with us. They make us feel better about ourselves. But, you don't just need to make sure that your counsel is for you. You need to make sure that they are for your marriage. You need to make sure that they support your desire to see healing against all odds. You need people that are filled with the Spirit of God, and those that will pray for and with you. Confide in the friends that won’ t just tell you what you want to hear, but they tell you what you need to hear… those things which are found in the word of God. This is crucial. Make sure that what you are hearing lines up with the word of God. If you believe that God has spoken to you, know, that whatever He speaks will line up with His word. He will never contradict what He has already said in His written word. “I am the Lord , and I do not change…” (Malachi 3:6 NLT) You need a circle of people around you that know what God has to say about your marriage, and those that will speak the word of God over you and your husband. By God’s grace, there was a faith filled woman that was able to walk with me when I thought all hope was lost. She encouraged me, and told me about the work of Jesus in her marriage. This is what you need. Not people that will agree with you, but people that have been through the struggles that you are facing right now, those that won't just sit with you where you are. But you need friends that will pray for you, comfort you, and help you get to the place that God has for you. A place of healing. And if you don’ t have those people surrounding you right now, ask and believe God for them. He will provide all that you need. He will give you the tools and the support system that you need along the way. He won’ t leave you hanging. He has so much planned for you. He wants to see you win. Prayer Heavenly Father, I thank you that you are always with me. Your word says that you know the plans that you have for me. They are plans for my good, and they are never for disaster. I pray that you would lead me in the way that I should go. Speak to me Father, I want to know what you have to say about my situation. Holy Spirit, I ask that you give me discernment when it comes to making decisions, and that you would reveal to me how the word of God relates to my life. I want to do what pleases you. Help me to chose my counsel wisely. I pray the you would protect me, and surround me with the people that will encourage my faith, and give me the strength to stand firm in the face of any adversity that comes my way. I love you, and I need you. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.