In the past, I’ve shared my battle with depression. I’ve shared how Jesus rescued me from a very dark place, and how he gave me a new life of joy and hope. But, what I haven’t shared is that every now and then, I still deal with the remnants of what I used to go through. I still deal with the spirit of depression. Why do I call it a spirit? Because, it’s not that I was sad about any particular thing…it’s that I was sad about nothing at all. When I was younger, I tried everything…I read books, I went to therapy, I tried medication…and nothing seemed to help. But when I sought Jesus, and when I decided to put my healing in His hands, I eventually found the freedom that I had been searching for.
Jesus healed me. He gave me the ability to live freely in His love. I felt protected for the first time in my life. I felt joy for the first time in my life. But, as I said…I still deal with the remnants of this battle every now and then.
Just last week, I was feeling down. I was sad for no particular reason at all. And as I thought about how I was feeling and why I was having those feelings, the Holy Spirit brought a scripture to mind.
On the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.” (John 7:37-38 NKJV)
As I thought of that scripture, I felt like the Holy Spirit was telling me that I was dehydrated. I had been experiencing symptoms of depression– sadness, emptiness, hopelessness, etc– because I had gone too long without taking a drink from the river of living water.
It’s interesting that Jesus compares himself to water, because water is the one thing that is absolutely essential for life. Our bodies can’t function for long periods of time without water. And when we deprive ourselves of this vital source of energy, our bodies can definitely feel it. When my head begins to ache, when my muscles feel tight, and when I feel unwell in general, the first thing I do is grab my bottle of what. Why? Because I have learned that these feelings are only symptoms pointing to a greater issue at hand. I have learned that my body is telling me that I am dehydrated and I need to return to the source. Likewise, it is the same when it comes to my feelings of depression.
Jesus is the source.
He is the reason that I live in freedom. He is the source of my joy and hope. And… I want you to know that I use the word source intentionally. Let's go a little deeper into this…
A source is only valuable to us if it is connected or tapped into.
Think of an electrical outlet for example. Yes… it has power all on its own, but that power is only valuable to us when we connect something to it, like a lamp or a fan. In the same way, Jesus is valuable…period. But, He only adds value to our lives when we remain connected to Him.
You see, I am saved through Him, but I have also realized that I can’t experience the fruit of that salvation apart from Him. So, although He healed me from depression, without Him in my life, I am still the sad, hopeless girl that I used to be.
Our freedom is sustained through Him, so without Him, we’re just as damaged as before.
I know that might have sounded harsh, but think of your own life. What has Jesus saved you from? How has He transformed you? Maybe you’ve dealt with depression and anxiety like me. Maybe you’ve battled with something different, like anger, gossiping, drug addictions, sexual sin ect. Whatever it is, I’ll bet your freedom is sustained by your connection with Him.
So…how are you doing with that?
Are you remaining connected to the Source? Because we will never be perfect, and He doesn’t expect us to be. The point is what do you do when you backslide? Do you allow shame and condemnation to creep into your life? Or do you allow your symptoms to lead you back to the Source.
Let’s read the Amplified version John 7:37-38 together…
Now on the last and most important day of the feast, Jesus stood and called out [in a loud voice], “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink! He who believes in Me [who adheres to, trusts in, and relies on Me], as the Scripture has said, ‘From his innermost being will flow continually rivers of living water.’ ” (John 7:37-38 AMP)
I love how it emphasizes that we must adhere to, trust in, and rely on Jesus. Because when we rely on Him, daily, we are able to enjoy the freedom that comes from His salvation.
The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. (John 10:10 NKJV)
Yes…there is a thief that seeks to thwart the plan that God has for our lives, but even more powerful, is the fact that Jesus has come. He has defeated our enemy, and He wants to give us life, and life more abundantly.
For a moment, I want us to take that in. Because although He might have given us new life when he found us…He wants to give us so much more. He wants us to have a greater freedom. He wants us to have a greater joy, and a greater peace. But, again, we can only experience those things when we remain connected to Him. So…instead of focusing on the symptoms of the past, choose to set your sights on your source. Remain at His feet. Allow His word to meditate in your heart. And watch as He continues to bless your life.
Prayer
Heavenly Father, thank you for saving me. Thank you for pulling me out of my past, and thank you for giving me a new life. I know that all I am and all I have is because of you. So today, I am choosing to be more intentional in my relationship with you. With your help, I will keep my eyes fixed on you. I will allow you to sustain what you have already done for me, and I will allow you to continue to do that work that you desire to do in my life. I love you, Father. In Jesus' name, amen.
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