I remember the day that my husband called and said he wanted to move back in together. It was an answer to a prayer that I had been praying for about three years. I was surprised, because his change of heart happened so suddenly. I thought we would talk about things, and take some time to prepare, but he wanted us to move in just a couple of weeks. I remember feeling like I wasn’t ready. I was so used to having my own space, where I controlled the environment, and the thought of jumping back into our relationship scared me.
Looking back, it's crazy that I was afraid of what I had been praying for. But this is how quickly God can move in our lives.
We can spend years praying and believing for something, and God can change it in an instant.
A few weeks later we found a home and moved in. I was excited for this new chapter, but things didn’t go a smoothly as I had hoped. Shortly after we got back together, I realized how much we needed God to work in our marriage. Yes God answered the big prayer, the one that seemed impossible a few weeks earlier, but that didn’t solve all of our problems.
We had been living completely separate lives for years. We had different ideas of what we wanted out of life, and we differed on how to raise our children. There were many areas that we bumped heads in, and we disagreed on most things. It’s almost like we were picking up where we left off at, and then some. And to complicate the situation further, both of our children were old enough to understand what was going on, so most of my focus went to making our home a place of peace, joy, and safety for them.
Still, as I retreated to get alone time, I was often overwhelmed by what seemed to be so many other insurmountable issues in my relationship. There were so many areas that I needed God to cover. Bringing my family back together was the prayer that I was focused on for so long, but I realized that this was only the beginning. I needed the presence of God in my marriage so much more.
Don’t settle for the first level of your miracle.
There was a big gap between that answered prayer, and the blessed marriage that I was believing for. And there were so many instances when I felt like I was facing the impossible. My husband and I were completely different, so it was hard for me to fathom how God could bring unity out of our situation. Many times, I just wanted to run out of fear. How could an answered prayer produce a situation that I now felt trapped in?
Each area that I needed God to move in felt like a giant that I wasn’t prepared to fight. There were times when I was ready to throw in the towel, but in those moments, I reminded myself that it was God’s hand that brought me there. By His grace, my family was back together. God worked a miracle when he answered that prayer. I reminded myself that the same God that moved that mountain, was the same God that was able to move any other mountain in my life.
I was able to press past all the fear and doubt because I constantly reminded myself of what God had already done in my life. I began to keep a journal. I wrote down all the areas that God already transformed in my relationship, and I wrote down the areas that I was still believing God in. Whenever God answered a prayer, I recorded it. This played a major role in building my faith.
Focusing on the problems at hand only produced feelings of fear, anxiety, and hopelessness. But when I turned my focus to God, and how amazing He is, when I rehearsed all that He brought me through, I put my confidence in Him. My confidence was no longer in my abilities or my situation, my confidence was in the God that never left my side, and the God that always worked everything out for my good in His perfect timing.
Your confidence has to come from who God is, not from your abilities nor your circumstances.
This is how we prevail against the giants in our lives. We must put our strength in who is on our side.
Our God is great, and so much bigger that anything that we could ever face.
When I think of the courage that it took for David to face Goliath in 1 Samuel 17, I am reminded about his state of mind at the time. When faced with a giant, David didn’t focus on the size of his problem, as the other soldiers did. He focused on the size of his God. No one, including King Saul, believed that David was capable of defeating Goliath, but look at David’s response.
But David persisted. “I have been taking care of my father’s sheep and goats,” he said. “When a lion or a bear comes to steal a lamb from the flock, I go after it with a club and rescue the lamb from its mouth. If the animal turns on me, I catch it by the jaw and club it to death. I have done this to both lions and bears, and I’ll do it to this pagan Philistine, too, for he has defied the armies of the living God! The Lord who rescued me from the claws of the lion and the bear will rescue me from this Philistine!” Saul finally consented. “All right, go ahead,” he said. “And may the Lord be with you!” (1 Samuel 17:34-37 NLT)
David’s response shows who his faith was in. David was not strong in his faith because he was a mighty warrior; he reminded himself of how God worked through him before. He reasoned that the same God that strengthened him to defeat the lion and the bear, was the same God that would strengthen him to defeat Goliath.
God’s works in our past are the evidence that He will continue to work in our future.
As I look back on that season of my life, I can see how God prepared me. The years that I spent believing that God would bring my family back together weren’t wasted. During that time, He strengthened me, and showed me how to fight for my marriage. So this time, I knew how to wait and believe God for a miracle, because I had done it before. Yes, this giant was different, but the fight was the same.
If you are praying and believing for healing in your marriage, or another area of your life, I encourage you to lean into God’s purpose for this season. The time that we spend waiting, and believing God for a miracle is never wasted. God is always working in us, and in our situation.
The wait has a purpose.
God wants to manifest himself in the middle of your circumstance. He wants you to know that He can sustain you through any situation.
Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:11-13 NLT)
God wants us to know that we can do anything, in Him. This is a strength that can only be gained in the fire. It’s a confidence that is grown through the process of walking with God in the most uncertain times. It’s our opportunity to deepen our dependence on God.
Once we learn to depend on God, we realize that it is His strength that gives us the ability to live out the purpose that He put inside of us.
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. (2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT)
I can’t tell you the number of times that I’ve said, “God, I can't do this.” And His response was, “Exactly.” God wanted me to know that I can not do the things he’s asked of me in my own strength. If I could, I would be able to pat myself on the back and receive the credit, but He is only interested in the things that bring Him glory. He wanted me to know that I can only reach His purpose in His strength, and not my own.
God can use us in the largest capacity when we are completely dependent on Him. And we only learn to depend on God when we have to.
Beyond the work that He does in us in our waiting, God wants to manifest a different side of Himself. He doesn’t want us to confine Him to our level of understanding, but He wants us to realize that His power extends beyond our borders. When we lay down our timetables and wait on God, we can begin to understand just how sovereign He is.
When I look back on all that God has done for my family, I am most amazed by His resurrection power. He took a marriage that seemed to be so far gone, and He restored it beyond what I thought was possible. He didn’t just heal the areas of brokenness that resulted from our separation, but He’s put his hands on broken areas that we didn’t even know existed. His grace brought us to a place of wholeness that we’ve never had before. And, He did all of this in the middle the wait.
I am convinced that sometimes our wait, is an opportunity to experience Jesus' resurrection power in our everyday lives.
Yes, Jesus died on a cross to save all of humanity, so that we might have everlasting life. But, He also died so that we might experience His life while we are still here on this earth.
The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life. (John 10:10 NLT)
Jesus wants us to experience a rich an satisfying life, the life that comes through knowing Christ.
How do we experience the rich and satisfying life that He has for us? By waiting on Him. It won’t always look pretty, and It won’t always feel comfortable. But there is victory in the wait.
As I waited on God to bring unity in my marriage, I realized that resurrection is a process. And this is important to note, because if we don’t understand that resurrection is a process, giving up is inevitable.
Each time I wanted to give up, it was because my perspective was too near-sighted. I couldn’t see all that God was doing in my marriage at the time. Our relationship just didn’t seem to be getting better, in fact, at times, it felt like everything was getting worse. But each time I changed my perspective, each time I looked back and saw the goodness of God, I was convinced that God is always moving.
The wait doesn’t mean that your prayers aren’t working, it means that God is still on the move.
So wait on Him. God wants to show you something. He wants to do a deep work in you and in your husband. He wants to manifest Himself beyond what you have experience Him to be. He wants you to receive the treasures that only come through this process.
Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. (James 1:2-4 NLT)
In the seasons that we are troubled, and our faith is tested, we learn that we really don’t need our preference at all. This is only revealed when we wait on Him. When everything is stripped away, and all else fails, God is still there, ready to reveal Himself to us.
God is always trying to get us to understand that His presence is always the answer.
But Moses protested, “If I go to the people of Israel and tell them, ‘The God of your ancestors has sent me to you,’ they will ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what should I tell them?” God replied to Moses, “ I Am Who I Am . Say this to the people of Israel: I Am has sent me to you.” God also said to Moses, “Say this to the people of Israel: Yahweh, the God of your ancestors—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob—has sent me to you. This is my eternal name, my name to remember for all generations. (Exodus 3:13-15 NLT)
The children of Israel knew what it meant to wait on God. And when God sent Moses to rescue them, He wouldn't allow them to confine Him to just a name, because He would be whatever they needed Him to be. The entire time that they were in the wilderness, God revealed Himself to them over and over again. He wanted them to know that He was their protector and their guide. He wanted them to know that He was their provider, their sustainer, and so much more. And still, they couldn’t wrap their minds around the essence of their God. Every time the children of Israel went astray, it was because they grew fatigued of waiting on Him. And what they didn’t understand is that their refusal to wait on God would ultimately cost them the promised land.
Your promise is on the other side of your wait.
God is not somewhere far off, sitting back, watching you wander around in the wilderness. He is with you, as He was with the Israelites. He goes before you leveling the road ahead. He's with you along the way, revealing Himself through your pain, and He’s protection is covering you as you move forward.
When you get weary and you want to give up, look back, and see the Red Seas that He has parted in your life before. Remember how He's provided for you in the wilderness. Look at His track record, and remind yourself of who your God is. He is the great I AM. He’s whatever you need Him to be. The same God that was with you then, is the same God that is with you now. So don’t shrink back and fall away in your time of waiting. Keep your eyes focused on the God who has been with you, the God that will see you through.
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